All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
