Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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