i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
