Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
