I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
