I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
They have beer where we have blood.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
