found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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