Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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