So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
