Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Randomize
