East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
