Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
