You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
