i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
