the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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