matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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