the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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