Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
