I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i drank out of a bidet.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
