My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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