I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
