I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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