Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
