I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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