My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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