i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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