even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
