I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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