he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
