He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
