I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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