what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
