Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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