you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
