I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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