He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
