yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
