then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
