yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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