cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
