My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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