Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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