So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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