There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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