ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
