Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
