that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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