yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
