I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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