It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
