i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
you had me at cake vodka
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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