I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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