my mouth tastes like poor choices
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
